Welcome to the sports buffet table.
Today's spread includes superstar dishes ranging from a slab of Kobe beef to A-Rod hot dogs minus the relish.
OK, fans, what would you rather have in Chicago, Kobe Bryant on the Bulls or Alex Rodriguez on the Cubs or the White Sox?
I know which I would prefer: Donovan McNabb on the Bears. Yes, a Big Mac would satisfy my hunger just fine.
McNabb threw for 333 yards Sunday, moved around like his healthy old self and indicated approaching his prime at age 30 that he's ready to lead another team to the Super Bowl.
Maybe even his hometown Bears.
We already have had the NBA's best player in Michael Jordan. At times we already have had baseball's most productive right-handed hitter in Frank Thomas and then Sammy Sosa.
What we haven't had for more than a half-century is a premier Bears quarterback.
Personally, I'm tired of watching the Bears' current crop of yahoos, to say nothing of the previous Not-so-mighty Quinns and Oh-so-misfit Morenos.
So how about signing A-Rod, dispatching him to Los Angeles for Kobe, and then forwarding Kobe to Philadelphia for D-Mac?
Silly, of course, but we are playing a little game of fantasy sports here, aren't we?
For all the Bryant-Bulls rumors -- most generated by his agent or the Lakers calling around the NBA looking for a dance partner -- Kobe landing here would be an upset.
Bulls chairman Jerry Reinsdorf can fill United Center seats without a player who once had to beat a rape rap. General manager John Paxson has been too conservative to think now that he's eager to make such a bold move. Bryant would have to get head coach Scott Skiles fired before being punched out by him.
As for A-Rod, he just doesn't make sense for the Cubs or White Sox after opting out of his contract with the Yankees.
An annual salary of $25 million wasn't enough to satisfy Rodriguez, so now he's looking for $300 million over 10 seasons.
The Cubs probably could afford the freight -- and be dumb enough to pay it -- once their ownership issues are settled.
But why would the Cubs go there when they don't need more fans? They need a World Series, which A-Rod couldn't even produce for the Yankees.
White Sox fans perpetually need a reason to go to Comiskey Park, but a $30 million salary to Rodriguez would define "law of diminishing returns."
Plus, didn't the Sox boast of winning the 2005 World Series without a diva who positioned himself above teammates?
If the Sox and the Cubs are smart -- always a dubious proposition -- they'll spend the $30 million a season on pitching.
If I had to prioritize the menu items it would be A-Rod dogs third, Kobe beef second and -- drum roll pleas, if not egg roll -- a Big Mac first.
When the Bears were in Philly recently, McNabb's future there appeared precarious regardless of public denials.
The Eagles drafted their quarterback of the future last spring. Head coach Andy Reid's future is uncertain because of family issues. Philly fans still boo McNabb at every opportunity.
Meanwhile, the Bears remain unsettled at quarterback, making a healthy McNabb intriguing.
At Chicago's sports buffet table, Kobe and A-Rod would be mere snacks compared to a main course of D-Mac.