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Imagine my excitement when I opened up the newspaper and found that the Cook County Board has launched a barrage of red light cameras. As a Schaumburg resident I will be sending a letter to Mayor Larson asking him to attempt the following:
1. Convene a special session and request that trustees pass an ordinance requiring a building permit for every electrical device used by another governmental agency for the purposes of stop light enforcement. Set the fee for this permit at $1 million.
2. Pass an amusement tax applicable to only other governmental agencies transacting stop light enforcement within Schaumburg. The tax should be 11/2 times the money collected by that entity and placed in a trust - any person receiving a ticket could apply for a Schaumburg business gift certificate for $150 or whatever the amount collected by the interloping governmental agency times 150%.
3. I hope the Herald posts a list of what Cook County commissioners voted for these cameras and the communities they live in, so we can see if these "valuable" cameras have been located fairly offering these commissioners and their neighbors the same opportunity to get one of these tickets.
4. Finally, most of the red-light cameras used in the U.S. come from Australia and Holland. I think it is time to thank these countries by eliminating purchasing anything made in those countries.
So far the only things I can come up with are products made from the skins of kangaroos, Outback restaurants, and any vehicle manufactured by the Holden Division of General Motors. GM wants U.S. police departments to purchase police cars designed in Australia and formerly sold as Pontiac G8s. GM will disguise them as Chevrolet Caprices.
With respect to Holland, obviously its time not to buy any tulip bulbs or Dutch-grown flowers as Holland presently has the largest commercial wholesale flower market in the world. The last two items I can think of are any Amstel beer products or any wooden shoes made in Holland (the country, not the city in Michigan).
Someone has to stop this nonsense soon before we are all broke.
Michael J. Victor